The sermon was based on the book Song of Solomon. In my opinion this is one of the most important books in the bible for married couples...and the least read out of the whole bible. It is no more than a conversation between a married couple about sex! Once you learn to decifer the metaphors that they use, this book gets pretty graphic, but it gives you such a great look into how to really please a woman. I'm not going to detail the whole thing, you can watch it online for yourself, I just want to highlight some things that really stood out to me. The principles that were given came from chapter one, they lay the ground work for the rest of the book. Before I list the principles Perry outlined I want to mention that through out this book the woman says this, "My lover is mine and I am his..." Song of Solomon 2:16. As a woman I can tell you right now that everything a woman desires is based around the same things - LOVE and SECURITY. If a woman feels loved and secure she will feel free to "expose" herself to her husband - and trust me guys, it's a beautiful thing. All 4 of the principles that Perry gave revolved around the woman feeling loved and secure.
1) "I want you to pursue me romantically." Song of Solomon 1:2 Discover your wifes definition of romance, ASK HER! Women want to know that they are worth being pursued, we want to feel special, we want to know you want us. It makes us feel beautiful, it makes us feel secure, it makes us feel loved - it makes us want to have sex with you! "There is nothing more beautiful and more powerful than a woman who feels loved and pursued by her husband." - Perry
2) "I want to be able to trust you." Song of Solomon 1:3 We want to know you will do what you say you will do, and we want to know that you are who you say you are. It gives us the freedom to be honest with you and again, we feel secure. When we can talk to you and really feel like you're listening we feel special, one of the most important things you can do as a husband is listen to your wife. When we talk, we don't want you to fix the problem, just listen and sympathize. I feel the most connected with my husband when we have a real conversation, about anything, and it usually ends up good for him :) Trust should be the foundation af all marriages, if there is no trust, there is no security.
3) "I want to know that you think I'm beautiful" Song of Solomon 1:5-7 ALL WOMEN struggle with feeling beautiful. Society tells us we aren't beautiful enough, or skinny enough, or tone enough, we rely on you to make us feel beautiful. I am 6 months pregnant and the baby belly makes me feel less than sexy, thank God I have an incredible husband. The way he looks at me and the things he says make me feel so beautiful. Husbands, tell your wife she's sexy, tell her she's beautiful, tell her she turns you on. Don't assume that because you try to have sex with her she knows you think she's gorgeous, open your mouth and tell her - sing her 'Your Body is a Wonderland' or something. When we feel beautiful we tend to drop some of our inhibitions, again this relates back to security. If we know that you think we are the most beautiful woman on earth then we know that "I am his and he is mine" is true and we will have more confidence and less restraint :)
4) "I want you to use your words with care." Song of Solomon 1:9-11 It's not only what you say, but how you say it. You can do so much damage to a woman with your words, or you can build her up to incredible heights. This rings especially true for me, I need to hear that my husband loves me, that I'm beautiful, that the house looks nice. Not that I only need lip service, I know when it's genuine. More importantly, when I go to my husband with a problem, something really upsetting to me, I need to hear that my feelings are valid. I've been in relationships in the past where my feelings were called stupid or petty, I was told I shouldn't feel that way. You know, sometimes women do make a mountain out of a mole hill, but we come to you, our husbands, to vent and get it off our chest, the last thing we need is to be told that our feelings are ridiculous. I am blessed with a husband that listens to me and comforts me, I pray that all women experience this in their marriages. "With our mouths we have the power to build up or destroy our wives." -Perry
Love your wifes with an undying, sacrificial, passionate love - the way Christ loved the church! Ephesians 5:25-27 If you can accomplish this you will have a radiant, beautiful, successful, healthy marriage (and sex life).Song of Solomon 1:16 - the woman was the first one to bring the bed up in the conversation, because she felt pursued, she trusted him, she felt beautiful and he spoke lovingly to her.
I began listening to this sermon out of curiosity and now I have a whole new appreciation for my husband. I am so blessed to have a husband that really gets it. I know that some women don't have that and my heart and prayers really go out to them. I guess I didn't realize how free I feel to love my husband because of how secure and loved I feel. He has sacrificed for me, prayed for me, loved me unconditionally..Lord knows I can be unlovable sometimes. I praise God for giving me the man I've always needed and I pray that God will help me be the wife he needs.
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