Prayers are desparately needed

It's definitely not easy when life throws you a curve ball. It's even harder to handle when emotions are already running high. I know God has a plan in all this and I know that amazing things are going to happen, but right now I feel scared and alone, which are two feelings I never thought I'd have a month before I am scheduled to deliver my son. Most of my feelings stem from this crazy, awesome idea that our pastor, Clay had. We are beginning a series called ExposedPastor.com. This basically consists of Clay exposing his life, for a full month, to anyone who wants to watch via the internet. He will be filmed live, mostly by my husband, for the entire month of August. At any point people can log onto ExposedPastor.com and watch him live out his day to day life. It's going to be huge, and very stressful for all parties involved.

I am very excited to see how this project affects the lives of the people involved and the people watching. The weight of this series is a sure indication that Satan is going to be working overtime to mess it up. So far, technology failures mixed with a lack of man power to carry everything out have proven to make this series the most difficult thing our church has done to date.

As excited as I am for this, I am still struggling a bit. This is where the scared and alone comes in. I was under the impression that I would get a couple days to spend with my husband before he goes away for a month, however, he is the main guy in this production and all the set backs have made it impossible. The part that is really bothering me is that I really didn't expect to spend the last month of this pregnancy alone. I had visions of Nick, Mason and I anxiously awaiting the arrival of the new baby together, feeling all the kicks, bumps and rolls that our little miracle is producing. I know that God has a purpose in his timing, and it is not up to me or anyone else to understand. I just really hoped that this would be a time of bonding and not of separation.

I am really praying for the strength to make it through this with my sanity and dignity intact. As afraid as I am, I am seeing some major opportunity through all my fear. Opportunity to connect myself in a deeper, more intimate way with God. Time for prayer and study. Opportunity to rely on the friendships that God has given me. I know God will carry me through this, just as he has carried me through my previous obstacles, and on the other side of this I have the rest of my life with the man I love and my two precious children.

In the mean time, I pray. Prayers for strength for my family and Clays. This is sure to be one of the most important and impactful journeys that our church has ever gone on, so I pray for protection. And I pray for the lives that will be touched through this.

Qwitter

So tonight was the beginning of the Qwitter series at Barefoot Church. Interestingly enough, Clays mic kept quitting. However the sermon was amazing. It hit home in a few areas, you know, made me a little uncomfortable from time to time. The basic jist of the message was , obviously, not quitting. Being able to achieve your God given dreams and Goals through perseverance. It really made me evaluate how I have kind of quit on God from time to time. Given up my quiet time, given up my study time, and ultimately, given up my ablilty to discern what God wants for my life. I haven't done anything terrible to speak of, just drifted. This is really what I needed to get refocused and centered. I have decided to start journaling (privately) and am going to make it a point to have quiet time with God EVERYDAY! I really have no reason for not devoting time for God each day, but I have plenty of excuses. It is something that I really need to get a hold on, so I'm gong to do it.

By the way, you can check out the sermon at the Barefoot Church website and the Sunday Night Wrap-Up is on Clays blog every week.